Is there a science to happiness?  According to the girl Scouts, the answer is a resounding “yes”.

Recently the Girl Scouts merit badges underwent a major overhaul.  One of the merit badges in particular was very controversial.  Girl Scouts can now earn a Science of Happiness badge.  The thought process is that happiness can be scientifically analyzed.

How do the Scouts earn this badge?  They follow a scientific method to study their own happiness and that of others.  The involve themselves in a variety of activities.  They help others.  They learn to forgive.  They keep journals.

Based on research, there are five elements that are important to happiness:

1. Positive Emotion – regularly do things that make you feel good
2. Engagement – follow through with your commitments and keep all areas of your life interconnected
3. Relationships – surround yourself with positive, ethical, caring people; forgive and apologize
4. Meaning and Purpose – seek the things you value
5. Accomplishment – find a sense of pride in doing things to the best of your ability no matter how routine the task

Girls Scouts are not just about cookies.  And now preteen Scouts in grades six through eight will be able to integrate the “happiness” research into their lives.  At a critical time in their development, they will be given the opportunity to analyze and elevate their overall well-being…their level of happiness.

Perhaps we, too, can use their example.  Let’s evaluate the five elements that research shows are important to happiness.  You’ve got nothing to lose…but may walk away with a more positive sense of well-being.

Related articles

• Redesigned Girl Scout Merit Badges
• Girl Scouts of the USA: Official Site
• Authentic Happiness

How often have you started the by making New Year’s Resolutions only to abandon them within the first week?  Statistics say that is what happens to 90% of us.

An unknown author said, “In absence of clearly defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily acts of trivia.” I was introduced to a seven-step, sure fire way to set and achieve my goals.  It’s a process and must be followed in a systematic way.  If you would like to set goals and achieve them, try the following process that has worked for me.  Then, let me know what you think.

Be sure you have some time set aside for this important process.  You won’t complete it in 30 minutes…or perhaps even in 24 hours.  Take it one step at a time.  If you’re ready, let’s dive right in with step number one…

1) Get Clear – Look at the last 12 months and be very clear about what happened.  We have a tendency to remember only the good and not the bad.  Last year had challenges and opportunities…so will next year.  You will benefit by determining what was good and bad.

1. What happened?
2. What was good about 2011?
   • Who did you meet?
   • Where did you go?
   • What did you love?
   • What did you learn?
   • What new things did you start doing?
   • What did you realize that you didn’t know before?
   • What breakthroughs did you have?
3. What did you hate about 2011?
   • What was bad?
   • What didn’t you like?
   • What painful experiences did you encounter?
   • What did you do that you wish you hadn’t done?
   • What regrets do you have?
   • What was challenging about 2011?
   • What do you not want to happen again?
4. What did you learn about the experiences you didn’t like in 2011?
   • Why were they incredible and valuable?
   • What did you get out of them?
   • What empowering meaning can you give them?
   • What were some of the most important decisions you made?
   • What might you do different this year as a result?

Continue to capture the ideas over the next 24 hours as your subconscious continue to work and bring new thoughts to you.

2) Get Certain – You need to be in a peak emotional state about your goals.  When you have a strong self-image, you have resources available that you didn’t know you had.  By getting certain, you can control your self-image.

1. Write a list of anything that you accomplished or achieve over the years.
   • What are you proud about in your life?
   • What have you accomplished?
   • What did you once think was impossible but you did it anyway?
   • What was once only a wish but now it’s a reality?
   • What things are you grateful for?

Keep your notes in a binder.  Allocate 5 minutes a day to jot your accomplishments for the day.  Review the list when you’re having a bad day and you will feel your energy shift within a few minutes.

3) Get Excited – Huge energy is available in the planet at the beginning of a new year.  In reality nothing is different; the date is arbitrary.   However, you have an entirely new destiny you can create by harnessing this energy.

1. Make of list of the goals, wishes, and desires for your life.
   • What do you want in 20 years?
   • What do you want in 10 years?
   • What do you want in 5 years?
   • What do you want in 1000 days?
2. What aspects of your life do want to change?
   • Career and Business
   • Environment
   • Family and Friends
   • Finances
   • Fun and Adventure
   • Health
   • Personal Growth
   • Romance
3. What do you want to achieve?
4. What people do you want to meet?
5. What places do you want to see?
6. What do you want your legacy to be?
7. What toys do you want?

Just keep writing!  Write everything…small or large.  Think big and jot down everything you want to happen.  You want to end poverty?  Write it down.  You want to lose 50 pounds?  Write it down.  You want $50,000 in savings?  Write it down.

Don’t judge…just brainstorm.  Get creative.  What do you want to do, to be, to have, to give?  Just keep your pen moving across the paper.  Keep coming back and adding to your list.

Most people over estimate what they can do in a year and underestimate what they can do in the long-term.

4)  Get Focused – Now look at your dreams and goals.  You’ll need to select 3 that are your top priority for the next 12 months.  If you accomplish these three goals your life will never be the same.  If you achieve these three goals it will change everything in your life.

1. What are your three top goals?
2. Write about them in detail so that when you read the description you know exactly what it is you are aiming for.
3. SMART Goals
   • Specific – define them so specifically that if a seven-year-old were to read your description they would imagine the same thing you would.  Not “more money” or “lose weight”…those are too vague.
   • Measureable – How much money?  How much weight?  What size clothes will you wear?
   • Attainable – Set yourself up for success.  It’s okay for your goals to be outside of your comfort zone but still must be something you believe is possible.  If last year you made $30k, making $1M this year may be a bit of a stretch (or, maybe not?).
   • Relevant – It must be something you really, really care about otherwise you won’t take the action.  It must be something that is emotionally important to you.
   • Time Bound – In this instance we are working on 12-month goals.
4. What do you need to do in the next 90 days to be on track to meet your 12-month goals?
   • Do you need to reach ¼ of your goal (I want to run a 26-mile marathon by the end of the year so I must be able to run 6.5 miles at the end of 90 days)?
   • Do you need to reach a milestone that will create momentum and develop the habit so you can crank it up over the remainder of the year (If you want to lose 50 lbs, perhaps you can drop 10 lbs in 1^st 90 days to give you incentive to keep going).
5. Write an affirmation for each of the three goals that relates to the 90 days.  Your brain cannot distinguish between reality and something imagined…it must be written in the present tense…as if already achieved.
   • I am very grateful and excited that over the last 90 days I was able to: (build an athletic, lean trim body under 200 lbs, I’m energized and full of life)

5) Get Committed – By week one, 90% have already given up on their New Year’s resolutions.  Your brain classifies things that you “should” do as important but not necessary.  Instead it is important to know why you “MUST” do it.

1. Write a statement or paragraph explaining why you MUST meet your goals…why they MUST be realized.
2. Write at least 20 reasons that make it a MUST.

Your why has to be so strong that it makes you cry.  There must be a lot of emotion behind it.  When challenges and obstacles present themselves, it will be easy to quit if you haven’t built a strong emotional reason behind why you MUST achieve your goals.

Remember RPM (Results; Purpose; Massive action plan)

6) Get Momentum – You must never finish without knowing what your next action step is.  You must eliminate all other choices.  You must know what that one specific action step is that you can take at every moment to move yourself forward.  Do the step and check it off.

1. What are the steps you can take to achieve those goals in the next 90 days?
   • What books do you need?
   • What seminar do you need to attend?
   • Who do you need to ask for advice?
   • What habits do you need to start (or stop)?
   • What are you doing that is dis-empowering?
   • What can you do on a daily basis that will move you closer to your goals?
   • What decisions do you have to make?
   • What’s the next step?

1. Write down the three outcomes you MUST have in the next 90 days.  Read them three times a day:  when you wake up; at lunch; and at the end of the day (let your unconscious mind and brain continue to come up with ideas as you sleep).

7) Get Smart – You need to be accountable.  Excuses don’t help you meet your goals.  The moment you get distracted, you will find it easy to go back to your old ways.  Know that you will have challenges and distractions.

1. Ask someone for his or her help.  Tell them you are going to take a specific action for the next 90 days and want to report in with a daily text.
2. Create a vision board that will remind you of your goals.
3. Identify 4 or 5 of the challenges that might come your way (circumstances, people); then identify how you can overcome the challenge.
4. Find a mentor that has already been successful in the area of your goal.  Once a month take them to lunch.  Tell them what you’ve been doing and what you are going to do. (They’ll be flattered you asked for help and you may help them fulfill their need to contribute back to society.)

You get to be a champion by defeating an opponent and winning the fight.  However there is no satisfaction in winning against a weak opponent.  Don’t wait until you have a challenge…come up with a plan to overcome the challenges before they arise.  Know what you will do.  When the obstacles do arise, you can simply say, “ah, to be expected”.

Summary:

1)  Write your three top outcomes for your first 90 days of 2012.
2)  Write a strong reason why you MUST have this outcome.
3)  Create a list of clear, specific action steps you can complete.
4)  Create a DMO (Daily Mode of Operation)

1. Read your 3 outcomes 3 times a day (morning, noon and night)
2. Write down three things for each outcome that you must do on a daily basis no matter what (total of 9 action steps a day)
   • Put it in your calendar, day planner or schedule
   • Place a check mark beside each one, each day

5)  Celebrate your achieving the goals.  Train your brain to know if you do the right thing you will have a time of pleasure or fulfillment.

Happy 2012…make it the best year of your life!!

__________

Additional articles you might enjoy:

Goal Setting for 2012
100 Day Challenge
Got Resolutions?

Will you have any regrets when you arrive at the end of your life?  Bronnie Ware worked for many years with patients who had gone home to live their final days.  She shared the last three to twelve weeks of life with many individuals.

Bronnie pointed out in her blog that people grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. There were phenomenal changes. Each experienced a roller coaster of emotions but every patient found peace before they departed. She questioned them all about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently. Here are the most common five answers:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Chances are that none of the answers are a surprise to you.  However, I think we need reminders now and again.  We need to remember that your life is result of your choices. You have the ability to choose anything you want.  My suggestion is that you choose wisely.  Be honest with yourself…don’t live the life others want you to live.  Live your life.  And, most importantly, choose happiness.  Yes, happiness is merely a choice…it’s not a byproduct of achieving, acquiring or becoming something.

Enjoy a Better Day…live in the present moment…have no regrets!

__________

Additional articles you might enjoy:

Living Without Regrets
How To Live A Life With No Regrets
40 Ways To Live Life Without Regrets

It seems everyone is interested in the topic of “happiness”.  Many people ask, “What makes us happy?”  I enjoy reading the comments, research and stories of others as they attempt to answer this question.  Apparently, happiness is attained by different people in different ways.  Here’s something to consider…maybe happiness can be found in what you DON’T have?

Graham Hill, writer and designer, suggests that perhaps having less stuff, in less space can lead to less stress (more happiness).  In his short talk he makes the case for taking up less space and lays out rules for editing your life.

According to Hill, Americans have more than three-times as much space as they had 50 years ago?  That means three-times the space to store more stuff.  In addition, the storage business is booming…telling us that we still don’t have enough room for all of our ‘stuff’.  If “what makes us happy” is more stuff, you’d think we’d be about three times as happy as we were 50 years ago, right?  However, Hill tells us that happiness levels have actually flat lined during that 50-year period.

Think back in time to when you lived with less.  Most of us have experienced “less is more”.  We’ve stayed in a dorm room, we’ve slept in a friend’s guest room, we’ve enjoyed a hotel room, we’ve camped in a tent…the list goes on.  We packed light…bringing only the essentials. Were you happy?

Hill encourages us to take three small steps:

• Edit – Be ruthless…let the stuff go; cut out the extraneous; curb the inflow…only acquire stuff that you will will love for years

• Think Small – Focus on things that stack or nest; digitize everything you can

• Muti-funtional – Evaluate items to see if they can be used for more than one purpose

You can enjoy the ‘good life’ for a fraction of the money and with a much smaller environmental impact. It’s possible, even likely, that the benefits of an edited life will include more freedom and less stress.  Perhaps less is more?  Get rid of your unused space and possessions. Make room for the just the good stuff…think quality and high-efficiency.
__________

Additional articles you might enjoy:

Our Kids’ Happiness: Less Is More
Less Stuff, More Happiness in 2011
The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less

What would you say to your 16 year old self if you could lovingly look back on the way you were and offer yourself some advice?  That’s exactly what dozens of people (most of them recognizable to everyone) decided to do in the book Dear Me:  A Letter to My Sixteen-Year-Old Self.  The advice was pretty amazing…

“You will literally wake up one day and realize you don’t have to impress anyone to have them like you.  Don’t try so hard, and things will get easier.” ~Seth Green

“I’m going to tell you what isn’t [important].

• The backup plan that everyone tells you that you must have.
• That guy you cry over every night.
• Calculus.  Trust me.  You will never use it.
• Being in a hurry.  The moment you realize you wish you hadn’t grown up so fast is the moment it will be too late.
• Where you come from.  Where you come from does matter…but not nearly as much as where you are headed.” ~Jodi Picoult

“You are completely and utterly self-obsessed.  If you spent a quarter of your time thinking about others instead of how much you hate your thighs, your level of contentment and self-worth would expand exponentially.  Love yourself, think of others, and be grateful.  Follow your dreams, not your boyfriends.” ~Gillian Anderson

“Don’t try so hard to impress people and be liked, but don’t fall into a habit of yours, which is self-absorption and obsessing.  Learn to speak a language or several.  French & Spanish would be top of the list and Mandarin as well.  Learn to read music and play an instrument.  Piano would be great.  Reflect on everything, regret nothing.” ~Bill T Jones

Now it’s your turn.  If you could live your teenage life from the perspective of adulthood, you might do many tings differently.  Take the time to write that letter to your sixteen-year-old self.  Or, at a minimum, give it some thought.  You might come up with some very eye-opening insights

The average person is on a hunt for happiness.  That’s just not how it works!  The average person tries to create happiness from the outside in.  This type of happiness is short lived…a good meal, a new item of clothing or engaging in a pleasurable activity.

On the other hand, the successful individual knows that happiness is a byproduct of living life to the fullest.  They demonstrate congruency in who they are, what they are doing and where they are going.  They select jobs they love, marry people they love and passionately follow their dreams.  They build great relationships with people they respect and enjoying spending time with.

They are happy now…they are not pursuing happiness.  Happy people are living life to the fullest as they are fulfilling a vision that has been revealed to them. They are living a “better day” right now.

What’s your vision?  Have you written the answer to the question, “If you could be, have or do anything, what would your life look like?”  For this exercise, know that anything is possible and their are no limits…use your imagination…listen to your intuition.  Once that vision is clear, you can live each day, each moment heading in the direction of the fulfillment of that picture.

Happiness is the journey…it’s not reaching the destination.  As each day’s achievements move you towards your vision, develop a sense of gratitude…and you will see that happiness is not something to be pursued directly.  Happiness is simply the act of being and becoming.
__________

Additional articles you might enjoy:

The Trojan Horse of Happiness
Happiness and a High Standard of Living
Attaining Happiness of Mind

Successful people have fun doing what they “do”.  From the outside it may appear as if the super achievers are super disciplined and self-sacrificing.  However, their success is actually attributable to what really drives them — FUN!  Yes, they actually have more fun in their work than others.

Research shows that these individuals took the time to select a career that would incorporate their natural talents and abilities.  And, most notably,  these individuals chose a path that encompassed something they were passionate about.

Average workers have a difficult time competing with the pro because most hate their jobs…and, of course, that’s one of the reasons that they’re average.  They never tap into a dream or vision that motivates them.  When the going get’s tough, they back off and give up.

The successful individuals are highly-disciplined but their drive and fortitude comes from the pure enjoyment, excitement and fun their work brings them.  The average worker plods through the day hating every minute…he’s just trying to survive.  The pro goes to work and has fun…he has powerful emotional motivators that don’t allow him to quit.

How about you?  Take each area of your life and give yourself a rating on a scale of 1 to 5 with 5 being the most fun:

• Business/Career
• Environment
• Family/Friends
• Finances
• Health
• Personal Growth
• Recreation
• Romance

Next, ask yourself if you can eliminate any of the things you are doing that aren’t fun.  Really think about your answer.  Remember, life is short and unpredictable.  Personally, I won’t do things that I enjoy unless it is absolutely impossible to escape them.

Put your shoulders back, put your head up and have fun.  If you encounter suffering and have to sacrifice to make your dream a reality, know that if you are passionate about your vision it is worth the fight.  Be enthusiastic…you’ll do amazing things!

Don’t sacrifice your life for someone else’s idea of success. Striving for success above all else is hardly living.

Alan Watts, a British philosopher, writer, and speaker, best known as an interpreter and popularizer of Eastern philosophy for a Western audience, expresses it best in the following video:

You have choices.  Don’t let someone else makes decisions about how you spend your time each day, like what you do and when you do it. Each person has the right to make decisions and have choices about how they live their life. Each person has different ideas about what is important and what makes them feel best.

There are questions you need to ask yourself.

• Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
• What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
• Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
• What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
• And, finally, if you learn from your mistakes, why are you so afraid to make a mistake?

Making your own choices about the things you do is very important because it gives your life meaning. Do what you love and your days will be satisfyingly full…there will be no void to fill. Don’t work for the money…don’t look elsewhere to receive what’s missing. Only satisfying your soul keeps you from that “empty” feeling and hungering for material things. You have unlimited potential.  If you are not “satisfied”, take a look within to find out why.  Choose to have a Better Day!

The inability to comprehend what is being said, rather than simply opening our ears, is becoming a prominent problem in our society. According to eHarmony, an online dating service, the number two cause of breakups and divorce in the United States is lack of communication. Intimate relationships with our fellow human beings are destroyed because we do not know how to listen to one another! In addition, effective communication skills are valued in employees. The number one reason people are fired is not their inability to learn, but their inability to communicate.

Our ability to selectively hear not only keep us consciously unaware, but also hurts our relationships to the point of decay. Listening can help us in our relationships, our careers and a multitude of other social interactions. There are three different styles of listening, but only one of them is truly beneficial. They are:

• Passive Listening: This is what is happening when we are tuning the speaker in and out. We are more aware of ourselves. We listen on and off and rarely have a response.

• Selective Listening: This is a very dangerous type of listening. Our tendency is to focus solely on the words being said rather than the emotion and reasoning behind them. We take the words at face value and fail to focus on the meaning or the feeling beneath the words.

• Active Listening: This is the level we should strive for. At this level, we focus on the speaker. We are able to distinguish what is being said and why. Then we can give intelligent feedback, too.

The people we communicate with have the right to be listened to, because their value is equal to yours. In the end, you may disagree with them, but at least you will understand what you are disagreeing with! Here’s your challenge for today when speaking with others:

1. Look directly at the person who is speaking (turn off the TV and computer).
2. Give the gift of undivided attention…stop what you are doing and thinking (yes, turn off the iPod and ignore your phone).
3. Listen longer than usual and with more patience to what others are saying (nothing you have to do at that moment is more important).
4. Listen to the feelings behind the words being spoken (sense the needs beneath the words).

When we teach ourselves to be active listeners, we form a closer bond with those in our lives. Effective listening can provide the opportunity to achieving our true potential. For today, try active listening…be fully present.

__________

Additional articles you might enjoy:

The Power of Listening
Active Listening Key
Active Listening

Keep in mind, everyone follows the followers…not the leader. That being said, the best way to create a movement is to courageously follow and show others how to follow. So, when you see someone doing something great, have the courage to be the first person to stand up and join in. By following, you show others how to follow…and that, my friends, makes you a successful leader!